On Political Outlook

The only good Republican is an unemployed Republican.
It's incredible how quickly they start sounding like a Democrat.

On Gun Control

Waco proves the lie in the old slogan about prying you gun from your cold dead fingers.  Actually they'll pry a gob of melted slag from your warm, cremated fingers.

On Safety

Secure networks aren't.

On Appearance

Saw a beautiful young lady the other day; pretty as a puppy and almost as smart.

On Indecision

He who hesitates gets trampled.

On Alternates

They tell me Ronald Reagan was considered for the part of Rick in Casablanca.
How much better the world would be if Reagan had played Rick and Humphrey Bogart had been President.

On Campaign Promises

It must be wonderful to promise things you know you'll never be called on to deliver.

On Arrogance

Be careful or like Jimi you end up playing your music to an empty field of discards and rubbish.

On Womans' Work

Ann Romney may know everything about raising kids.  But, she knows nothing about raising kids on a minimum wage job.

On the NRA Convention

The greatest single danger to 2nd amendment rights are camouflage wearing cowboys carrying semi-automatic weapons to political rallies.

On Obsolescence

It doesn't take long for todays' cutting edge technology to become tomorrow's nostalgia.

On Predecessors

Big Jim said, "If you ever licked pussy, then you're a cocksucker by proxy."

On Appropriate Punishment

Some criminals, like child molesters and rapists, should be slid into the guillotine... face up!

On the Resurrection of the Trickle-down Theory

There have always been those who are satisfied by licking up the crumbs that fall off the aristocracy's table.

On Parole

Charley Manson is coming up for a parole hearing in the near soon.  There's only one question that needs to be answered; "Is Sharon Tate still dead?"

On Being Dicisionally Impaired

The right wing Republican appointed Supreme Court is on the verge of saying it's unconstitutional to require citizens to buy health insurance.  The right wing Republican House is considering a bill to require senior citizens to use vouchers to buy health insurance.  Is this a case of the left face not knowing what the right face is talking about?

On Appearance

After sitting down at the coffee shop, Marie looked around and spotted a loud, used car salesman type holding forth about what a great investment he was offering.  She said, " Now there's a guy who really needs to be caught."