On God's Will

It's always God's fault, nobody seems able to take responsibility for their own actions.
After all, God's not here so it makes Him easy to blame for all our shortcomings.

On the Unknown

Every woman is a virgin until you make love with her.

On Priorities

Have you ever noticed while having your morning coffee, shaving, watching the news on TV, reading the latest stock market quotes,eating you biscuits and gravy that the last thing you think about are the turn signals?

On War Crimes

Yesterday we held a parade for a returning veteran. Of course the kid in the casket didn't know we were doing it.
It's a crime that G. W. Bush can walk around smirking and chortling at his own jokes while kids are still dying in his war.

On Obamacare

Republicans are against sticking their nose into your health care unless it's your relationship with your gynecologist. Then they want it in as deep as they can stick it.

On Porn

"Lack of occupation with sex fosters preoccupation with sex."

Major Sidney Freedman

On Evolution

After the light turns green it's amazing how long it takes some people to get going.
It must take a lot of concentration to get the thumbs on their feet un-tangled.