On Political Outlook

The only good Republican is an unemployed Republican.
It's incredible how quickly they start sounding like a Democrat.

On Gun Control

Waco proves the lie in the old slogan about prying you gun from your cold dead fingers.  Actually they'll pry a gob of melted slag from your warm, cremated fingers.

On Safety

Secure networks aren't.

On Appearance

Saw a beautiful young lady the other day; pretty as a puppy and almost as smart.

On Indecision

He who hesitates gets trampled.

On Alternates

They tell me Ronald Reagan was considered for the part of Rick in Casablanca.
How much better the world would be if Reagan had played Rick and Humphrey Bogart had been President.

On Campaign Promises

It must be wonderful to promise things you know you'll never be called on to deliver.